How to Live a Meaningful Life
Humans have been misled by the concept of life as a journey with something meaningful at the end. Fooling ourselves into believing the goal of life is to work hard to hit milestones, checking off boxes towards “success” or whatever is considered a desirable life within the culture or society we inhabit. For some, this may be the traditional route: go to school, get a good job, get a house, a nice car, have children, and collect a pension. For others, it may include “filial piety,” a Confucius/Buddhist concept more common in Eastern cultures. These worldviews make finding meaning in work out of reach. As a result, we have misconstrued a “successful life,” which is only externally verifiable and based on socio-cultural constructs, with a meaningful life. Instead, life and work are more akin to dance or play, to be enjoyed and marvelled upon at every moment.
I have friends and many acquaintances who graduated from top universities worldwide. Many would have, at least what the market deems, good jobs and successful careers that many outsiders would be envious of. But when you press them and dig down into their day-to-day lives, are they living a meaningful life? I often hear something along the lines of: “Well, I don’t really like my job, but it pays well. I hope to get out in a few years and do something else. I won’t be doing this forever. Right?” However, they rarely have the conviction to do something else; at most, they will start their own enterprise in their current field to be their “own boss” or make more money. The reality is that the corporate world is set up, so the perceived opportunity cost of giving up one’s current position is punishingly high.
The social norm has been to give up on the notion of “fulfilling work.” Work has become a necessary evil to survive, and we pray we have enough savings for retirement; because of this, people, more often than not, do not leave their mundane jobs. Despite the impending problem of human obsolescence due to technology, there is at least a semblance of security and comfort knowing when the next paycheck is coming. “It’s a decent paying job. I got health insurance. I got that nice car. I finally got enough for the down payment for my dream house.” But now, you have a lifetime mortgage, property taxes, and maintenance fees to pay. Well, now you are really stuck. If lucky enough, some people can retire young, after dedicating 20 to 30 plus years of servitude, to continue to live out their twilight years in pursuit of even more worldly pleasures, avoiding pain and work, after their best days are behind them. Sometimes, retirees pursue a more spiritual path (traditionally, in Eastern cultures, it is not uncommon to take up a more spiritual life towards the end of one’s life). Unfortunately, many do not even have the luxury of retiring young due to increasing inflation and low income and personal savings.
Meaningful life?
What are the requirements of living a meaningful life? Many philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual gurus spend lifetimes pondering these questions, with many popular books attempting to answer this question. The most intriguing conceptualization is the Japanese idea of Ikigai, 生き甲斐, which consists of two words: “iki” meaning 生き, or “life; alive” and “甲斐,” or “an effect; a result,” which compounds to make “a reason for living; a raison d’etre.”
In Western thought, and media, it is often popularized as the intersection of 4 main components: 1) What do you love? 2) What are you good at? 3) What does the world needs? 4) What can you be paid for? As stated earlier, the seeming practicality underlies a fundamental problem: introducing “money” as a misnomer for wealth. Perhaps in an ideal state, all four components would be satisfied. However, there is a differentiation between meaningful work, which you can be paid for, and living a meaningful life. Meaningful work is a profession or craft that you find fulfilling and provides value for others while living a meaningful life does not necessitate a monetary exchange. In our money-oriented world, we frequently focus on “well, I need to make a living.” So we try to force our passions or what we love into a money-making venture. Seeking one’s purpose, although perhaps desirable, in our capitalist society does not necessarily translate to a monetary reward. Therefore, figuring out what pays is secondary to focusing on sources of fulfillment in one’s life, especially if one already has a steady source of income.
In my view, to simplify matters, start by forgetting the money. There are two main components towards a meaningful life: 1) an internal sense of fulfillment and 2) value creation for others.
The source of fulfillment in one’s life is entirely subjective. Some may find being a graphic designer or school counsellor fulfilling; others as a newspaper columnist or psychotherapist. While not for everyone, some may find fulfillment as a waste collector or corrections officer. I want to convey the sense of meaning that differs from the satisfaction acquired from hitting goals or reaching milestones; it is the day-to-day “doing” that should derive fulfillment. Although it may provide external rewards, it is secondary to the task at hand. Whether it is a creative pursuit—writing, singing, painting, etc.— or running a day-care, the fulfillment is inherent in the act itself. There is usually an art form of creation or a sense of play involved. I am not trying to put down corporate careers; if one genuinely finds fulfillment in investment banking or venture capital, then fair play, you have ticked off box number one— an internal sense of fulfillment.
Providing value to others is easier to understand. You are of service to others, creating or building something that makes a difference: inspiring others, giving care, building good companies, informing and connecting with community members or society at large. The impact that you have on others is not something to measure. Your value matters whether it helps one person, your immediate family and friends, or hundreds of thousands across the globe. Instead of contributing your time solely in exchange for money, you contribute your time to create external value. Venture capitalists can argue their investments in start-up companies will end up producing products of value for society (despite their desire to find a return on investment). Nevertheless, is the impetus the value for society, or is it the money?
Your day job does not have to be your primary source of value creation. In your spare time, you can contribute in some significant way. Perhaps, in your current financial circumstance, you cannot derive a living off your passion— your fulfilling work. Moreover, you may not even have a desire to make a living off your passion. Regardless, provide value to others— live a meaningful life.
A third “X-factor” is “Quality,” an intangible, ethereal quality in the work you produce, in the way you live your life. Our modern generation is obsessed with “life-hacks”; we love finding ways to cut corners, “the easiest way to achieve x.” Quality is truth; it is authentic. Quality exists in the logarithmic spirals of Nautilus seashells, galaxies and sunflowers. When we gaze upon some of the most remarkable architectural structures, admiring artworks and reading timeless classics, we also encounter and experience Quality. We also find it in the practice of Zen and in disciplines and activities that enable us to enter a flow state. Quality is recognizable by all humans in tune with existence itself.
Quality neither comes easy nor difficult; it organically emerges when we settle ourselves fully to work itself. There is a difference between taking the path of least resistance and taking a shortcut. When we are fully present in the moment of whatever the task is at hand, we are— to put it spiritually— “One with the Tao.” In these moments, quality work comes into existence, and it is also where the path of least resistance lies. For example, in the soft martial arts discipline of Aikido, Judo, and Tai-Chi, practitioners do not attack nor attempt to force attacks but instead use the attacker’s force against them, using circular motions to throw them off balance with the least resistance. Just as water flows downstream, the work at hand organically generates value from our inner world into the external. However, when we actively seek to find the shortcut, we are forcing against the natural flow of our work, and we miss achieving quality. Do not be a hack.
When we can find fulfillment in daily tasks, create quality work, and at the same time be of service to others, we have stepped onto a meaningful path. Unfortunately, we are frequently unable to achieve this as we are stuck at polar extremes: Either we are comfortable with our current situation or parallelized by choice. In the former, we are afraid to push out of our comfort zone and are content with the monotonous daily routine of our lives. We want to seek meaning in the latter, but we do not trust ourselves to choose the “right path”— scared to take the leap of faith towards self-determination. Taking the leap of faith does not mean everything will always work out the way you want to, but how will you know if you do not try? There’s no reason we can not envision a world where people do not have to do meaningless work, especially with increasing automation and AI.
Due to the perceived nihilism of our generation: impending climate catastrophe, rapidly increasing income inequality, and unsustainable plundering of nature’s resources, we allow hedonism and escapism to run rampant. Pursuing worldly pleasure is not wrong. However, the drive for only pleasure or “comfort” only brings upon suffering if it becomes the priority. Attaching to the pursuit of pleasure, trapped in this vicious cycle of wanting more and more, we cannot break free. Most of us are a walking middle-life crisis, ready to implode. There is nothing worse than waking up one day when you are in your 50s, even with all the pleasure and luxuries in the world, and wondering where your life went. What was your raison d’etre, your reason for existing?
Is there nothing more damaging to the human spirit than the shackles that bind us to toll away without purpose? Without purpose, we slowly lose direction; our body becomes a husk, a shell with nothing inside to offer the world. The decisions you make here will determine whether you choose meaning or comfort, love or fear. You have that choice.
